Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror
SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Believing - We Receive

Life's resources have been a little on the low side lately...physical resources are low because fighting a particularly aggressive bout of sinusitis/tonsilitis makes caring for a really sick little smurf fairly tricky, financial resources are low because dealing with ongoing illnesses which in turn call for ongoing doctors' appointments and medication with a medical aid which funds were exhausted about two months ago is also fairly tricky (especially when looking at Sam's scheduled follow-ups with specialists for the next couple of months, not to mention his intervention therapies) and spiritual resources are low as well as a result of not being able to regularly attend services or even find a gap during the day for some "alone" time for prayers or Bible reading. I've tried leaving it till I go to bed, but this hasn't proven too successful :) The danger in this is that the longer you're without spiritual influence, the more often thoughts of "Well, what's the point anyway?" come sneaking their nasty little way in.

So, on Wednesday, I decided it was time to put a stop to this downward spiral and set myself a goal, to somehow manage at least two prayer sessions during the course of the day and to have read at least one Bible passage. The prayer sessions were a little easier than anticipated and the Bible reading took place at the kitchen counter while simultaneously trying to gulp down a sarmie and make Sam a bottle, while Brampies battled with a particulary clingy Sam for a few minutes. Seeing as I have missed a good few daily readings, I decided to start on 15 June and work my way back (it made sense at the time) and I managed to work through the 14 June as well.

A quick side-step : It is important to note at this point that part of my petitions earlier that morning was a request for Him to at least acknowledge that He hears our prayers and hasn't completely forsaken us.

As I was about to head out of the kitchen, I glimpsed the devotional for 13 June. It said :

"Believing - We Receive

If anyone is thirsty, he should come to Me and drink (Jn 7:37)

Are you thirsty? Then drink. "Now this is the confidence we have before Him: whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him or" (Jn 5:14-15). Here are the principles:

Confidence - "the confidence we have before Him:"
Conversing - "we ask anything"
Condition - "according to His will"
Conviction- "we know that He hears whatever we ask."
Consequence- "we know that we have."

I thought - here's the acknowledgement I was asking for.

A short while later I received a text message from Sammy's great-aunty Anthea. She said that she'd put in a request for us to be considered by two of our local radio stations for their respective "random acts of kindness" programs.

I thought - here's the acknowledgement I was asking for.

A couple of hours later our minister showed up for an impromptu visit to see how Sam was doing and to pray for us.

I knew - He hears us.

Now, there's been no miraculous healing going on overnight, no huge lump sum of money anonymously dumped into our bank accounts...what there has been is a slow but steady improvement of Sam's health over the past two days and the comforting knowledge that, despite the saying that when times are hard friends/family are few, we still have family who care enough about us to put themselves out there in an attempt to ease our burdens.

So, Sam is still coughing terribly and his nose may as well have been glued shut with cement, but he's been wanting to play more as opposed to just lying on my lap for hours on end and he's even been rewarding us with that good ol' smurf charm and laughter. I am not expecting much relief for myself until 11 July, when I will be going under for the ENT procedures mentioned previously but as long as Sam is doing better, it's all good. I know my insistance at trying to treat Sam at home may have seemed incredibly unreasonable...not to mention the inconvenience of the "please help" emails I had to send Sam's paed when it looked like we were losing the battle (Dr B's inconvenience, not mine) but that's why I keep stressing the importance of surrounding ourselves with specialists/doctors who can relate to your circumstances on an emotional level, as well as a professional level. Let me give you a prime example : at Dr B's office on Friday, when about to examine Sam, I asked him if he wanted me to remove Sam's shirt and vest. He said it's best to keep both on because Sam will probably moan. I thought - Nah, it's warm in here and Sam seems pretty calm and settled, let me take the shirt off so that Dr B can examine him more comfortably. What do you think happened? Sam started squirming and whining in protest! The lesson? When your doc knows your child as well (and very occasionally better) than you do, you're in good hands :)

 In the midst of all our chaos, Sam has had a haircut...well - half a haircut at least (the reason why there's only a front view..hee hee).

BEFORE :

and AFTER

2 comments:

  1. I am so humbled by this post and will continue to pray and do whatever it takes........and yes if we believe it we will see it......so glad that Sam is getting a little better. He is in such good capable hands and what a blessing to find such Medical people.....our God is sure great!!!!

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  2. Glad to hear Sam is getting a little bit better. Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers.

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